funnythat

So I'll keep it short and sweet, because I know so many people are disappointed/annoyed at their rank.

I'm pretty happy with 87.85. I think that, after everything I've been through this year and all the hard work I've done, I deserve the good marks I've got. Even though I was already into uni, I've been stressed over the last few days about this and now I can finally relax. Most importantly, I've made people in my life who I'd worked so hard to please this year proud with what I've done. Finally I feel like I'm worth something.


There's always a way around. Remember that. If you have passion and drive, you will achieve what you want to, even if it seems unlikely in the short term. Things are never easy if you care enough about them. I'm a firm believer in the fact that good things come to good people.

ETA: My family and I went out for dinner last night and during the meal, my mum said "How funny would it be if the bill was $87.85!" and we agreed, but thought that it was impossible. An hour later, the bill came up to $87.90. We lol'd.

Oh God, please let this be good.




So they're good. Even though when I looked at it all in one go, I wasn't happy, I've been through every mark and now I'm really pleased. I think I've done really well, and it reflects just how hard I've worked this year. I've had people react really well to my results. Now it's just a waiting game for tomorrow.

...and I have no idea what to buy my boyfriend. Ah-gain.

I spent almost a whole day about a month ago compiling photos for a photo-book of the two of us to have my mum tell me yesterday that there won't be enough time to get it made before Christmas. Imagine my surprise. I considered using the same photos to put together a hand-made scrapbook but then I begin to think that our anniversary is just over a week after Christmas, and that idea suits our anniversary much better than it does Christmas.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to go shopping and just look around, hoping to find something suitable. I'm so frustrated, I couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery when it comes to Christmas.

I just fit Year Twelve into three small boxes and put it under my bed.

I don't know why I feel like it's such a big moment, but I guess it's an informal final closing of the chapter that was high school.

I said I was keeping only what I might potentially use as a teacher but somehow I'm only throwing out a folder's worth of paper and keeping every single book. Somewhere in me thinks that I'll retrain one day to be a History and Religion teacher as well as Drama and English, but I don't know how committed I am to that.

I am not at school anymore.

Life is good.

Ever since schoolies, I've just been hanging around, doing some cleaning both at my house and Max's house and now I'm relaxing, watching the Sex and the City movie whilst drinking pink champagne. We're celebrating because it's Max's sister's formal so while she's getting ready, we're all buzzing about. We're about to go down to the local park where all the local schools take pre-formal photos and scope/bitch about the girls who've been mean to her this year.

I've been with Max, cleaning his house, putting up Christmas decorations, as well as unpacking boxes from my garage that my dad is systematically clogging up our lounge-room with dust with. This morning his mum's best friend flew in from the UK so we've been chatting and floating about not really doing a whole lot as we all seem to have jet-lag for some odd reason.

I think tomorrow I'll spend sleeping, reading and perhaps cleaning. I love spending time with Max, and I'll definitely see him tomorrow night because our families are getting together, but I think I need some me time. Even Max thinks I need it.

Life is lazy and sleepy and slow but good. I like it when life doesn't whizz past.

BTW - New Moon was amazing. Far better than Twilight. I think I may even see it a second time.

All packed for Schoolies. I keep thinking that there's something else I need to sort out, but there's nothing. Need to sort out money with Mum but that's just about it. I am prepared, and if there is something I've missed, go with the flow. It is a week for relaxing and not worrying :)

In more exciting news, my mum got a really good deal on a cruise to Bali, Lombok and Komodo, so I'm going on a 10 day cruise in February! I'm so excited. Mum's best friend and her family (except her 18 year old son, who is my good friend) are coming with us, which will make it even better. It's the same ship I went on two years ago so I already know my way around and I am so very excited. Bali is pretty much my mum's favourite place in the world (and she's been to a lot of places) and even though we're only there on a day trip, I'm absolutely thrilled that my mum is going to get to show us her favourite place with the monkeys, shopping, rice fields, jungles...I'm so excited to go to Indonesia! I've always wanted to go. The only downside is that Max can't come because he starts his TAFE course half-way through. Otherwise it would be perfect :(

Not really sure what I'm going to do after Schoolies. I have to clean my room, pack away school stuff, sort old bags of stuff from the garage, and find a job. Once I find a job, hopefully I can save enough money to help my mum with the cost of the cruise and save up for a car. Get my Ps, go to uni, figure it out from there.

See you after Schoolies :)

21/10/09 - 9:20am - English Advanced Paper One
22/10/09 - 1:55pm - Studies of Religion I
23/10/09 - 9:25am - English Advanced Paper Two
29/10/09 - 9:25am - Biology
30/10/09 - 9:25am - English Extension I
3/11/09 - 9:25am - Modern History
12/11/09 - 1:55pm - Drama

In general, do you find yourself more attracted to people with similar or different interests, life experiences, political beliefs, and religious backgrounds? Do you think having some common interests/goals is essential for a successful relationship?   <input ... > View 343 Answers

I think it's definitely important to have some common interests/goals - otherwise, what do you have to talk about?

I haven't found myself attracted to very many people in the last couple of years, given that my affections have been monopolised by one man for a good two and half years, but I can get an idea from before that. I tend to be attracted to people whom I was already quite good friends with, or had the potential to be, or if we were in the same group of some sort. Religious backgrounds have also generally been the same, given that I went to a Catholic school, but I don't know if I've been attracted to someone with outward religious beliefs. Not by any sort of conscious decision, I just don't think it's ever happened that way. Same with outward political beliefs, most of us have been too young to form solid political beliefs beyond belief/disbelief in global warming or "Fuck (the current government)".

My boyfriend and I have very similar ways of thinking and families, which I think is a really good thing. We both love our mums to death, and talk to them about almost anything. We're both big believers in giving everything and everyone a go and we both want to have similar life patterns, i.e. travel, get married, have kids, etc. We both have pretty set goals, both related to creative arts, and we know (vaguely) how to get there. On a superficial level, we both like mostly the same TV shows, our musical tastes overlap, we like some of the same foods, but I also think that comes from being together for a long time.

By the same token, I think differences are really important too. We like the same sort of sports, but he's much more into it than I am. I'm much more interested in theatre, and he's really interested and involved in music. We have had very different life experiences - I have had, in comparison to him, a very easy life. He has been through so much more and continues to go through it, and I respect and love him so much for his strength.

So yeah, I find myself attracted to people with similar things, but I also think that differences are just as important. :)



Side note - I love it when it's like the radio has grabbed my iPod and is playing all the songs I like. It makes me happy :)

21/10/09 - 9:20am - English Advanced Paper One
22/10/09 - 1:55pm - Studies of Religion I
23/10/09 - 9:25am - English Advanced Paper Two
29/10/09 - 9:25am - Biology
30/10/09 - 9:25am - English Extension I
3/11/09 - 9:25am - Modern History
12/11/09 - 1:55pm - Drama


I feel like everything's over now, even though it still isn't for a week and a day. Yesterday I came out of my exam feeling like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I've had a few revelations. I spent yesterday afternoon in this strange state, I can't describe the lightness and freshness I felt. One more to go :)

Also, I love each and every one on Packed to the Rafters. That show just makes me feel so happy on a weekly basis :D

21/10/09 - 9:20am - English Advanced Paper One
22/10/09 - 1:55pm - Studies of Religion I
23/10/09 - 9:25am - English Advanced Paper Two
29/10/09 - 9:25am - Biology
30/10/09 - 9:25am - English Extension I
3/11/09 - 9:25am - Modern History
12/11/09 - 1:55pm - Drama



So my exams aren't over just yet, but I've had a bit of a milestone today. Today, I officially finished all of my study notes! If you forget the ones I didn't get to finish because the exam came too quick I never have to write HSC study notes ever again. Now I just have to wait 10 days until my HSC is completely over, forever and ever.

Exciting! :D

21/10/09 - 9:20am - English Advanced Paper One
22/10/09 - 1:55pm - Studies of Religion I
23/10/09 - 9:25am - English Advanced Paper Two
29/10/09 - 9:25am - Biology
30/10/09 - 9:25am - English Extension I
3/11/09 - 9:25am - Modern History
12/11/09 - 1:55pm - Drama



In five years time, when I do a huge clean of my room/storage boxes and I find Wuthering Heights, I think I might actually like it. I watched the first part of a TV series made of the book on Sunday night and it's not bad (continuity errors and strange structures aside). Heathcliff and Cathy are actually gorgeous together in the show, and their chemistry is fantastic. I was annoyed about the change of Chapter 9, but it was still good. I can't wait to see the second part.


So squirrelpirateand I had the same thoughts.

1. You're so cute and I love being good friends with you, even though I'm not totally used to your sense of humour yet. We need to stay friends.
2. Do not become one of those people. Please. I can't deal with having someone so negative, judgemental and pretentious in my own house. Being narrow minded and opinionated does not make you better than anyone else.
3. She seriously overexaggerates it, but she's essentially right. I love you, but I need my space right now, as much as I hate it. I hate having to say no but please don't stop calling, or you'll give me the wrong idea.
4. Sit down, don't talk, just listen. It might do you some good.
5. Yes, I know it's only a week. Without him, it might as well be a month. Don't take away the last thing I have left and treat me like I'm a number again.
6. I find it difficult to understand someone as shy as you. I guess it's just because I've never been that way but life is so much easier when you smile.
7. I don't know what to think. Now I'll always watch my back when I'm around you and it's a real shame.
8. I want to tell you what I think but the last thing I want to do is what you did to me. I'm too afraid to hurt you.
9. Hearing that you missed me surprised me. You're a good person and I'm sorry that I haven't missed your presence.
10. You amaze me so much. Every story you tell me of your past and your struggles confirms my belief that you're the strongest person I know. It was so lovely to spend the day with you, even though we were both on edge. You'll get through this, I just know you will.

21/10/09 - 9:20am - English Advanced Paper One
22/10/09 - 1:55pm - Studies of Religion I
23/10/09 - 9:25am - English Advanced Paper Two
29/10/09 - 9:25am - Biology
30/10/09 - 9:25am - English Extension I
3/11/09 - 9:25am - Modern History
12/11/09 - 1:55pm - Drama

Getting there. :)

ETA: Right now, I'm at Max's house, watching Ten Things I Hate About You on Foxtel, planting pink roses and daffodils on Max's FarmVille (he had an operation on his finger on Friday and is still quite sore, so I'm here taking care of him, and he's watching his team on Foxtel IQ at the moment and I know that they won and he doesn't) and drinking sweet white wine. This is, by definition, the life.

What I don't understand is why you think you can do this (which you might be able to, as it were) and yet still make your way back. It doesn't work both ways, really. No one is going to think you're a hero and accept you back. You'll just piss the last people that think you're worth their time off. Perhaps that's what you're trying to do, but you've distanced yourself and then come running back so many times that it's become repetitive. I've never met someone who lives as much in the past as you do - it's not still 2007. However, I don't think you're totally to blame. They could just as easily not take the bait, but it seems as though they are - and for someone who is as emotionally driven as they are, they're being quite selfish and insensitive (maybe unconsciously). In the end, there's nothing I or any of us can do.



Half of my brain is like "Of course you can nail the HSC" and the other half is "What? You don't know quotes, dates, techniques, nothing!" I am truly getting sick to the teeth of waking up every morning to do exactly the same thing, and feel as guilty as I do. I cannot wait until this dreaded month is over.

Max has gone away for the weekend, and I haven't seen him since Thursday afternoon. I won't get to see him until Monday night because he flies in at something like 10pm tonight. I've pretty much been under house arrest here without him - Mum won't even let me go have a cuppa with his mum, even though she really needs a friend right now.

Come back, baby! D:

ETA: Went over to visit Max's mum with my mum, spent an hour with her. She sent me a Facebook message afterwards that she thought it was a lovely surprise and enjoyed seeing me. She's so lovely and such a strong person. She's offered for me to ask her for help with whatever any time in the next few weeks, when it really needs to be the other way around.

Shit things happen to such good people, don't they?

I've been listening to the radio on the internet a lot lately (because my shitty old radio doesn't pick up the station I like) and one song pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about both the HSC and life itself.

This time, baby, I'll be bullet-proof

You know, I think I'm okay.

I haven't met one person who is extremely stressed about the HSC. Everyone seems to be resigned to the fact that not much is going to improve at this point. I mean, I just bought four extra books - all to be used in one week - but they've helped me so much.

Life feels so much better outside of high school. I think the Playwright's Residency really did a lot for me, because it has truly made me see beyond the HSC. It scares the crap out of me, believe me, because I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it gives me direction. The HSC just feels like this tiny little obstacle and then my life starts.

:)


funnythat'S STUDY COUNT:

English Advanced = 3/4
English Extension = 3/5
Drama = 4/4
Modern History = 2.5/4 
Studies of Religion = 2/3
Biology = 1.5/4

I'm going into the city this afternoon to start my Sydney Theatre Company residency, and won't be back home until Saturday. I know I'm excited inside, but right now I just want breakfast. I really don't know why I'm so blazay, but I won't be soon. I have three plays to read in the meantime and still some things to pack.

I think maybe it's because I'm watching the news on all the terrible things happening in the world, particularly in Samoa and Indonesia. If I believed, I would be praying so hard for these people.

See you all on Saturday.

Last full day of school today. I will only see most of these people again tomorrow, and then some perhaps never again. There is still the formal, but I know a fair few who aren't going. So tomorrow, for some, is it.

There are a few things I will be glad to leave behind, but for the most part, I have a short summary prepared for you.

Here goes.

♥